Creating Your Own Rules for Discomfort
Practicing discomford doesn’t always need to be a big gesture. There are many opportunites in everyday life to practice, with knock-on benefts for our wellbeing. Doing your meditraion each morning takes more effort than drinking your coffee while scrolling Instragram, but it will help you feel calmer and in control..
Example Rules for Discomfort:
- Always take the stairs – so that lifts and escalators become the exception rather than the norm.
- Never Eat After 7pm – or at a time that suits you better. Many of our poor food choices tend to come in the evening. This one-time rule automatically eliminates them.
- Never Snack – only eat at mealtimes.
- Always go to Parkrun – make a commitment that every Saturday morning you are going to show up, rain or shine.
- Do 30 minutes of daily movement it doesn’t have to be anyhthing fancy or going to a gyhm, just make a commitment to yourself that thirty minutes of movevemnt each day is what you are going to do.
- Never say yes to a request on the phone – this will help reduce the likelihood of overcommitting. Always say you’ll have a think about it, decide and get back to the other person. If you want, you can even explain that you never say yes to request over the phone.
- Never eat a dessrt alone.
- Turn off your smartphone one hour before bed.
- On weekdays, never start a new epsode after 9pm – it is tempting to binge- watch your favourite box sets but this one-time rule will help you prevent late nights during the week. You could also have a rule that you will only ever watch one episode on week days, no matter how tempting it is to watch a second.
- When you wake up, do one five-mintue action for your health – make it a promise and stick to it. This could be jounaling, breathwork, or a quick wokrout, whatever appeals to you.
Five Simple Words to Navigate Tricky Conversations
‘I have a different perspective’
It sounds simple but it is astonishgly powerful. It works because it removes the element of personal challenge and implies a horizontal rather than veritcal relationship with the person you’re talking to. It also allows you to continue the dialogue wihtout making hte other person ‘wrong’.
Widen the Gap
When you find yourself wanting to take officenfce, see if you can take a pause and work through the situation in your mind.
Consider the following points:
- What is it that is causing you to take offence?
- What is it specifically that is bothering you?
- Is there another way to look at this situation?
- Is it the intention of that person to offend you?
- What story about the situation could you write in your mind that would add compassion and understanding?
- Can you imagine a scenario whereby you would understand why that peroson has that point of view?
- Is there any possiblity that you might have misinterpreted things and go the wrong end of the stick?
- What would happen if you did not choose to take offence here?
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